Okay, so you've gotten to first base and coming around to second. Now what? As you grow closer and begin to find that the chemistry is percolating, the ultimate relationship question arises, to bed or not to bed?

You like each other. In fact you can say that you are getting closer with each passing day. There's nothing to stand between you, except a fear of intimacy, concern about STD's, a spouse, kids in the next room, and a host of so many other things that get in the way. You feel that it's now or never. "Now" feeling too threatening and "never" feeling like forever. This is the time that the line that you've drawn in the sand becomes a blur as it blends in with the rest of the beach. Do you dare to step across the line?

We all played the game. As adolescents we played intimacy baseball. How many bases did you get to? What would happen if you hit a homerun? It was hit or miss then. It was easier and expected. Adolescents play with intimacy. Adults become intimate.

The stranger who has become your friend wants to take you to the next level. It forces you to take responsibility for being in the relationship. In an adolescent way you can play with the intimacy. Touch it, feel it, savor it. Or you can allow yourself the complete abandon of intimacy and take it to the next level, trusting, guiding, allowing this other person into your life space.

The lesson of intimacy is a life lesson. There is more to intimacy than meets the eye. Trust, mutual respect, communication, and empathy all play an important role in growing in a relationship. Like a flower, it takes more than rain. It needs sunlight and water and loving encouragement to grow. In that regard, people are like flowers. Intimacy grows from within and shared intimacy is what flourishes.

JJR NY